Do I Miss You ??

Do I miss you? I don't know
But Im missing your lovely smile
When my heart is hurt & tears flow down
Its not here today to comfort me...

Do I miss you? I don't know
But Im missing your warm cuddle
When I feel lonely & need your arms
Suddenly I realise ; You are far away...

Do I miss you? I don't know
But Im missing the life we shared
Morning walks along the country roads
Evenings by the golden beaches

Do I miss you? I don't know
But Im missing your tendre love
Every minute we have spent together
I cherish in my heart with all my love

(Yeah...I miss you sweetheart)

I Don't Miss You, I Miss Who I Thought You Were..

Sshhhh....

I simply hate it when I don't have anyone to talk to. But then there is a lesson in this that I should learn. There is no other person you should talk to, but yourself. Because there is no one who would understand your feelings better than you, yourself. You can talk to yourself without anyone knowing about it! And you don't even have to worry about the "other" person spreading the news! Who cares if no one else has time to listen to your Dukh Bhari Dastaan! There is always you who would listen to it! And so I have learned my lesson after the wise words I got from people. Ah well... you have to learn it..be it the hard way!

Another thing that I have been thinking about is "maturity". I saw this group on facebook which said "My level of maturity depends on who I am with". I always believed that we matured with age. The older we get, the wiser we get, the more mature we become. Apparently I was wrong. In some cases only, of course. Who am I to point that out though! I act so immaturely at times. But believe me I try to act my age. I do try. And I try my best to think things over. But you can't deny the fact that sometimes it's fun to act like a kid and forget the whole maturity issue! Just today I let out my childish talks to my Mom (believe me it's very strange because I do not connect to my Mom in that way what-so-ever!).

And you must be thinking what a crazy Guy ! Just now he was on about how we should only talk to ourselves..no one understands us better than ourself!...blah blah blah! Yeah..okay I am a confused kid. Give me a break please.  Anyway, so I ranted so bad in front of Mom that she ended up laughing at me. Not very nice. I am a 18 year old guy and I was acting like an 8 year old complaining git! I am mature when it comes to certain issue. Seriously! But I hate it when I see people not acting their age. I know, I am being a bitch. And so I am! Phew! There! I said it! I am no angel. I rant about the weirdest of stuff and about the silliest of issues. I also ended up labelling myself as a selfish brat too.

I have a few questions. The things we might see as wrong or annoying at this point of time (at this age)..Do they matter when you grow up maybe 40 years later.. do they still matter? Would I be still winging about the same things when I am that far ahead in my life? Will anyone of us be doing it? I somewhat do know the answer to this (at least for myself, I do.). Then what is the point of acting so immaturely to these situations now?

I am so annoyed at what is going around me at the moment. That I want to stick my middle finger up and tell everyone off! Grrr.... I am a crazy person. And I write about strangest of things. It would be so funny reading all these posts when I am 50 above (if this blog survives). Some things should be taken as a joke but unfortunately they are stretched so far for no reason at all. And I don't like it. Some people need to learn to grow up (including me). Some people should stop being so immature and act their age. It's about time they grew up. Some people need to understand that some things are not meant to be talked out simply because they are useless! Argghhh... I am in such a bad mood. And this weather is playing it's part in making it worse.

Sorry for wasting your time with my useless ranting. Bleh. I simply don't want to waste my time on useless arguments as I have enough up my sleeve as of now. So adios for a while. To everyone. I mean EVERYONE.

Take care and be good !!

When Jealousy Creeps In..

Love is in the air. Anyone and almost everyone seems to be falling for someone or the other. Now before you get the wrong idea, let me clarify – No! I am not in love. Yes, I put up mushy lovey dovey status messages now and then and confusing blog posts which intrigue the readers even more. Guess it’s just the age I am in where everything I do gets automatically misinterpreted as to being in love.

So like I was telling (and before I go off topic again), love is definitely in the air. Everywhere I go I see young couples hanging around – at restaurants, at shopping malls, at theatres – with a glow on their faces and a spring in their steps. I admire them for a second or two, go awwww within self and then all of a sudden jealousy hits. I mean how dare they fall in love, when yours truly hasn’t found a partner for herself as of yet? I give them some unnoticed glares and leave it at that.

It was during one of these lovey dovey days that I decided to go shop. I landed at a counter inside the shop which was showcasing some very nice collection of earrings. The only hindrance for me - a young and good looking couple. Hmmm, actually only the girl was good looking, the guy was just ohhh-kay. So there they were (mostly him), blocking the already small counter and I wasn’t able to admire properly or check out a pearly set which I had set my eyes on.

The boy looked more obsessed, besotted, ‘in love’ with the girl than vice versa.

*Girl tries on a pair of earrings*

BF : Ohhhhhh! You look SO fab! LOVELY!
 
GF (admiring herself on the mirror) : Yeah, no? Even I think so too. Looks awesome on me!!!
*Girl tries on another pair*

BF (eyes all dazed) : Wooowwww! Just look at you! So pretty.
 
GF (still admiring herself on the mirror) : Yeah no?!! Wow!! Just wow!
This complimenting from both sides (boy to girl, and girl to herself) went on for a good 5 minutes. I was there behind them admiring the scene, observing, taking it all in. Then.. yes… I hate to admit it… jealousy crept in. I decided enough was enough. I tapped the guy on his shoulders and asked in an irritated tone–

“So did you find anything good for yourself?”
 
The sales lady figured out what was going on and ushered the guy away much to his embarrassment. Though the funny part is that the girl hardly noticed he was gone and she went on admiring herself in the mirror.

Oh well. It’s fun to be jealous sometimes! ;)

Death !!

To speak of nothingness, void, eternity, silence and stillness one must come eventually to the subject of death. And not only that, one must come to face death as part of the human condition. You and I, and everyone will die. That is certain..

Death is the ultimate and final entry into Pure Silence. At that point all the struggling, all the grasping and controlling is finished whether we wish that to be or not. Death is our final friend, our destiny as a living being. However, I offer that it is the fear of death, of the unknown finality of it, of the dissolution into nothingness, which has been the central concern of all humanity since the beginning, whether consciously, unconsciously or subconsciously. We know that someday we will not be alive and the fear is that we will not be aware as well. Consider this in yourself right now. Because there is tremendous freedom here if you admit that someday you will be nothing itself.

If you invite this into your consciousness, no matter how painful it seems, you will see the absolute joy of it all. In death the Pure Silence that you are will finally return to the source, the center, the all of Pureness itself. There you will not have body with brain, brain with thought and memory, and memory with emotion. If you consider that, at first it is a little scary. That is the reason religion has invented concepts like heaven to sooth humanity's fears about this.

It is my humble opinion that our fear of being nothing, being dead, being silent, is all related to this.

Spend a few moments right now and welcome death to yourself psychologically. Investigate the fact that someday you will be gone, your thoughts, dreams, memories, hopes, goals, desires - everything will be gone. What will be left, what is left, only Pure, gentle, loving Silence. 

This is you, right now.