He said, She said. . .

 

1.  He said to her "Shall we try swapping positions tonight?" 

She said "That's a good idea - You stand by the stove & sink while I sit on the sofa and do nothing but fart!"

2.  He said to her "What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?" 

She said to him "Turn sideways and look in the mirror!"  

3. He said to her "How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?" 

She said to him "I don't know, it has never happened."  

4. He said to her "Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking?" 

She said to him "They already have boyfriends."  

5. He said to her "Why are married women heavier than single women?" 

She said to him "Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge."

 

Nothing special about this Saturday as well. Hope you all have a great Weekend ahead !! ;)

The Man Rules

At last a guy has taken time to write this all down

Finally, the guys' side of story.
We always hear ‘The Rules’ from the female side… Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!

Please note: These are all numbered 1 on purpose!

1. Men are not mind readers.
(First and Foremost)

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You’re a big girl…it its up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports, it’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides…let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work.
Strong hints don not work.
Obvious hints do not work.
…Just say it!

1. Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after the 1 day.

1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are.
Don’t ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know how best to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during the commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. All men see in only 16 colors, like windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We’ve no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say ‘nothing’, we’ll act like nothing’s wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.

1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football or cricket.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couth tonight; but did you know, men really don’t mind that.

Kuch Meetha Ho Jaye..

With romance going digital and love being on the fast lane,the age old art of wooing is slowly dying out.Maybe because everyone's so short of time.Men don't have the time or the patience to woo women and women in turn don't have the inclination to be wooed,something that roots to feminism.It's sad to find the beautiful art of courtship dying out because some women feel it humiliating and some men feel it unnecessary,esp with demands of equality.Forget about the idea of being sweet to a stranger,without any motive.

Anyway,I am hopelessly romantic and I still believe in knights,gentlemen and all the age old conventions.I feel happy when I see any of my friends doing something sweet for their partner. Such things were common place when I was in college and it was always fun to watch. But after college I hadn't witnessed anything truly sweet until it happened today..to me.

I was returning from a friend's place in the evening..Before heading home I decided to get myself a recharge voucher.The neighbourhood shop was crowded being a small hangout for many MBA students who stay in the locality.While I was waiting for my turn I found a cute gurl by my side.I gave her one casual glimpse.She smiled but I ignored and looked the other way.Rude,you might think but I was in a terrible mood after a real bad day.I paid the cash,got my voucher and headed out of the shop.I decided to take home some snacks from the nearby thela wala. While I was at the shop giving orders,the thela boy pointed behind my back.I looked back but didn't find anything.He again pointed,but towards my vehicle this time.I looked back and still didn't find anything strange.When he did it for the third time,I thought he was retarded.Just then another person at the shop tapped me and asked me to look back.when I looked back,almost irritated by then,I could see a gurl waving to me from the other side of the road. She was on her scooty with her helmet firmly on her head. I could make out she was the gurl from the shop. She pointed to my Bike. I looked down to find a chocolate bar on my seat.And below it was a paper with a big smiling face drawn on it and the words "Haapy Summer Days" scribbled beneath it.I looked up at her and she shouted back,"It's for you". Before I could react she zoomed off. People were looking at me and some were smiling..In my hurry to get out of there,i forgot to collect my snacks packet.I t was further embarrassing when I went back to collect it..

Back home i told my mom about the incident and we both shared a good laugh..
I don't remember any stranger being so sweet to me.It surely made me smile.If only I could have said a thank you or atleast returned her smile.I hope she reads this though.. *sigh*

Jab We Met !!

Jab We Met,
Was no day special.
I was in the canteen bunking my class,
U in the library reading through ur glass.
Then the AO came checking
and i jumped the windows
and went off scurrying
to find a place to hide.
It was d library i found,
U looked up at d sound.
I smiled ,u smiled back
I came n sat next to you
You were scared n hurried to the loo.
Then i said something gross
And u looked really cross.
Oops sorry.. i said.,
thinking i have hurt a nerd.
But you took things light.
I wondered was it just me..
or me smiling bright?
I saw you go red.
I simply laughed,
ruffled your hair and left.


Next,I met you in the lab I was having problem with my device
But then u were so nice
u came n fixed it up.
It was then i felt awe for u,
Rather your brains to be true.
You seemed to like my company
and m sure i didn't mind.
The next day i asked you out,
U were a lil unsure
But finally decided to come out.
You were my fifty third date
While I was your first,
And who knows,maybe the last.
We went to a small cozy pub
And when I asked you for a dance,
You gave me a nervous glance.
But as I pulled you closer
and taught you the steps.
You got easy and danced away to claps.
I'd been out so many times
But i loved it with you.
And from the look on your face I could know,so did you.



What happened next
is for you to guess.
Love followed dates,
Marriage came next.And after two decades,
As i find you beside me now,
I look back and think,
Am glad we made it somehow.
Aye,you are still the one i love
And i'll love you so.
Jab we met was special
Now i know.