He said, She said. . .

 

1.  He said to her "Shall we try swapping positions tonight?" 

She said "That's a good idea - You stand by the stove & sink while I sit on the sofa and do nothing but fart!"

2.  He said to her "What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?" 

She said to him "Turn sideways and look in the mirror!"  

3. He said to her "How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?" 

She said to him "I don't know, it has never happened."  

4. He said to her "Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking?" 

She said to him "They already have boyfriends."  

5. He said to her "Why are married women heavier than single women?" 

She said to him "Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge."

 

Nothing special about this Saturday as well. Hope you all have a great Weekend ahead !! ;)

The Man Rules

At last a guy has taken time to write this all down

Finally, the guys' side of story.
We always hear ‘The Rules’ from the female side… Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!

Please note: These are all numbered 1 on purpose!

1. Men are not mind readers.
(First and Foremost)

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You’re a big girl…it its up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports, it’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides…let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work.
Strong hints don not work.
Obvious hints do not work.
…Just say it!

1. Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after the 1 day.

1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are.
Don’t ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know how best to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during the commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. All men see in only 16 colors, like windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We’ve no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say ‘nothing’, we’ll act like nothing’s wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.

1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football or cricket.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couth tonight; but did you know, men really don’t mind that.

Do I Miss You ??

Do I miss you? I don't know
But Im missing your lovely smile
When my heart is hurt & tears flow down
Its not here today to comfort me...

Do I miss you? I don't know
But Im missing your warm cuddle
When I feel lonely & need your arms
Suddenly I realise ; You are far away...

Do I miss you? I don't know
But Im missing the life we shared
Morning walks along the country roads
Evenings by the golden beaches

Do I miss you? I don't know
But Im missing your tendre love
Every minute we have spent together
I cherish in my heart with all my love

(Yeah...I miss you sweetheart)

I Don't Miss You, I Miss Who I Thought You Were..

Shattered..

Tears, tiny droplets of unnamed emotions

Purest form of love, hatred and fear,

Reflection of my mind, my inner soul

Wash me from my anguish, make me pure.

Love was never a game, oh unknown

My life and roles in it made it one!

The hurdles seemed so long, I endured

The mission, the changing rules, failed me win.

Levels changed and so did the game

Survival became the name of my aims!

Alone, not lonely I played the game

Memories of forgotten fuelled my life.

Moving on, I knew what's on my way

Yet you made me choke, oh love long gone,

You said you knew me in and out

Yet failed to know my tears for you!

The game console blinked, one last message

The dire choice " Game Over. Play Again? "

Tears, tiny droplets of unnamed emotions

Wash me from my anguish, make me pure..

Sshhhh....

I simply hate it when I don't have anyone to talk to. But then there is a lesson in this that I should learn. There is no other person you should talk to, but yourself. Because there is no one who would understand your feelings better than you, yourself. You can talk to yourself without anyone knowing about it! And you don't even have to worry about the "other" person spreading the news! Who cares if no one else has time to listen to your Dukh Bhari Dastaan! There is always you who would listen to it! And so I have learned my lesson after the wise words I got from people. Ah well... you have to learn it..be it the hard way!

Another thing that I have been thinking about is "maturity". I saw this group on facebook which said "My level of maturity depends on who I am with". I always believed that we matured with age. The older we get, the wiser we get, the more mature we become. Apparently I was wrong. In some cases only, of course. Who am I to point that out though! I act so immaturely at times. But believe me I try to act my age. I do try. And I try my best to think things over. But you can't deny the fact that sometimes it's fun to act like a kid and forget the whole maturity issue! Just today I let out my childish talks to my Mom (believe me it's very strange because I do not connect to my Mom in that way what-so-ever!).

And you must be thinking what a crazy Guy ! Just now he was on about how we should only talk to ourselves..no one understands us better than ourself!...blah blah blah! Yeah..okay I am a confused kid. Give me a break please.  Anyway, so I ranted so bad in front of Mom that she ended up laughing at me. Not very nice. I am a 18 year old guy and I was acting like an 8 year old complaining git! I am mature when it comes to certain issue. Seriously! But I hate it when I see people not acting their age. I know, I am being a bitch. And so I am! Phew! There! I said it! I am no angel. I rant about the weirdest of stuff and about the silliest of issues. I also ended up labelling myself as a selfish brat too.

I have a few questions. The things we might see as wrong or annoying at this point of time (at this age)..Do they matter when you grow up maybe 40 years later.. do they still matter? Would I be still winging about the same things when I am that far ahead in my life? Will anyone of us be doing it? I somewhat do know the answer to this (at least for myself, I do.). Then what is the point of acting so immaturely to these situations now?

I am so annoyed at what is going around me at the moment. That I want to stick my middle finger up and tell everyone off! Grrr.... I am a crazy person. And I write about strangest of things. It would be so funny reading all these posts when I am 50 above (if this blog survives). Some things should be taken as a joke but unfortunately they are stretched so far for no reason at all. And I don't like it. Some people need to learn to grow up (including me). Some people should stop being so immature and act their age. It's about time they grew up. Some people need to understand that some things are not meant to be talked out simply because they are useless! Argghhh... I am in such a bad mood. And this weather is playing it's part in making it worse.

Sorry for wasting your time with my useless ranting. Bleh. I simply don't want to waste my time on useless arguments as I have enough up my sleeve as of now. So adios for a while. To everyone. I mean EVERYONE.

Take care and be good !!

When Jealousy Creeps In..

Love is in the air. Anyone and almost everyone seems to be falling for someone or the other. Now before you get the wrong idea, let me clarify – No! I am not in love. Yes, I put up mushy lovey dovey status messages now and then and confusing blog posts which intrigue the readers even more. Guess it’s just the age I am in where everything I do gets automatically misinterpreted as to being in love.

So like I was telling (and before I go off topic again), love is definitely in the air. Everywhere I go I see young couples hanging around – at restaurants, at shopping malls, at theatres – with a glow on their faces and a spring in their steps. I admire them for a second or two, go awwww within self and then all of a sudden jealousy hits. I mean how dare they fall in love, when yours truly hasn’t found a partner for herself as of yet? I give them some unnoticed glares and leave it at that.

It was during one of these lovey dovey days that I decided to go shop. I landed at a counter inside the shop which was showcasing some very nice collection of earrings. The only hindrance for me - a young and good looking couple. Hmmm, actually only the girl was good looking, the guy was just ohhh-kay. So there they were (mostly him), blocking the already small counter and I wasn’t able to admire properly or check out a pearly set which I had set my eyes on.

The boy looked more obsessed, besotted, ‘in love’ with the girl than vice versa.

*Girl tries on a pair of earrings*

BF : Ohhhhhh! You look SO fab! LOVELY!
 
GF (admiring herself on the mirror) : Yeah, no? Even I think so too. Looks awesome on me!!!
*Girl tries on another pair*

BF (eyes all dazed) : Wooowwww! Just look at you! So pretty.
 
GF (still admiring herself on the mirror) : Yeah no?!! Wow!! Just wow!
This complimenting from both sides (boy to girl, and girl to herself) went on for a good 5 minutes. I was there behind them admiring the scene, observing, taking it all in. Then.. yes… I hate to admit it… jealousy crept in. I decided enough was enough. I tapped the guy on his shoulders and asked in an irritated tone–

“So did you find anything good for yourself?”
 
The sales lady figured out what was going on and ushered the guy away much to his embarrassment. Though the funny part is that the girl hardly noticed he was gone and she went on admiring herself in the mirror.

Oh well. It’s fun to be jealous sometimes! ;)

If You're Happy And You Know It.....

.... Then have an expression that goes like this -

Like minded people are hard to find. And what’s more tough is finding people who you feel really connected to. I’m glad those very people have landed from miles away to visit this September. Some more are still to come.

Yes, even 'You' has landed. It feels really nice to be able to see him again. My childhood buddy. The person who has tolerated me the most in life. The person who has pissed me off so much that I have kicked him off from my FB and Orkut list the MOST number of times. He still suffers me and is downright sweet regardless of my immature self.

My chuddy buddy rocks even if he’s an idiot.

May this friendship last forever…